Spinning Around

Listen up fellow midlifers. Are you feeling dizzy with all those plates you’re spinning?

The endless demands of raising a family takes up several of them. The work plate

suddenly becomes two or three to balance new responsibilities and extra training.

Then there’s the ones for a relationship, for friendships, fitness, health, shopping,

ageing parents. It can feel endless and stressful trying to balance it all.

If I knew plate spinning was to be such a large part of my adult life I would have

asked for training. And lots of it. The full circus package. Exactly how to keep them

all up there, endlessly spinning and never dropping. How to make it look effortless

and not smash a single one.

I’m Rebecca, a recovering plate-spinner extraordinaire. For years, like many of you,

I've juggled the demands of being wife, mother of two, chief cook and bottle washer,

cleaner, gardener, picker-upper, chauffeur, part-time uni student, nearly full time

senior nurse, career changer and unfortunately almost non-existent friend to those

who deserved better. Looking back it was an insane way to live and it left me feeling

frazzled and frayed.

Statistics show that the 50-64 ‘midlife’ range is currently the largest UK age group,

with Age UK predicting that the Sandwich Generation (those caring for older relatives

whilst bringing up a family) is set to increase, as both delayed parenthood and the

increased life expectancy of the older generation brings joy but also pressures and

burdens from competing directions.

It can be a very challenging time, which mostly goes unrewarded and unrecognised,

just at that point in our 50s when our own health demands start to kick in. Many find

themselves physically and mentally exhausted, and that's why I believe the

government should have a Minister for Midlife!

If you're feeling frazzled from spinning too many plates, here are some useful survival

techniques that might help relieve the burden and leave you feeling a little less dizzy.

So here are my first 5 top tips to help relieve the burden of spinning the plates:

1. Leave perfectionism alone. Perfect doesn’t exist. Ask yourself if it really

matters to let the odd or indeed several plates smash.

2. An easy one to remember - and a great one to live by - is the 3 Ds: Do it,

delegate it or dump it!

3. Say ‘No’ if asked to take on another task - no is a complete sentence!

(Remember the Just Say No campaign of the 1980s? Well this is the revised

version just for us in the 2020s).

4. However, if saying no feels difficult, then try a delay tactic as this avoids

agreeing to anything immediately. For example a simple ‘Let me check my

schedule and get back to you’ should do the trick.

5. If you are feeling overwhelmed, ask yourself if you are being kind to yourself

in taking on something new.

REBECCA BUSSY